Marriage

Congratulations on Your Engagement

You are engaged to be married and, desiring the blessing of God on your union, have approached the Church to witness and seal your vows to each other. Marriage is a divine vocation involving an enduring sacred relationship lived in the community of the Church and the wider human family. For Catholics, marriage is a sacrament of Christ’s love expressed in a couple’s living out their marriage vows day to day in the grace of the Lord. Even when a valid marriage is not a sacrament, a Christian and an unbaptized spouse commit themselves to each other in radical openness to the design of God the Creator.

How many meetings are we expected to attend?

You will meet with a priest or a deacon three to four times. The first of these meetings gives you a chance to meet the priest or deacon who will witness your marriage, discuss your desire to be married in the Church, and provides an opportunity for the exchange of information. Between your first and second meeting, you are expected to complete a FOCCUS pre-marital inventory. At your second meeting, the priest or deacon will review your FOCCUS results and introduce you to the theology of marriage. Your fee is also due at the second meeting (see information on fees below). Your third meeting will review your Marriage Prep Program experience and complete all necessary paperwork. Your final meeting serves to review the liturgical, canonical, and civil requirements for the wedding and provides time for answering any remaining questions. Please note that if you or the priest or deacon feels that additional meetings are needed, they will be scheduled.

What paperwork is required?

For Catholic Persons:
A newly issued Certificate of Baptism (dated not more than six months prior to the wedding date) from the Church in which you were baptized. If you were baptized at Holy Family and are being married there, no certificate is required.

For Non-Catholic Persons:
If a non-Catholic person is a baptized Christian, a photocopy of his or her Certificate of Baptism is required. In addition, two affidavits of freedom to marry are required (the priest/deacon will explain this during your initial meeting and provide the necessary documentation). If the non-Catholic person is unbaptized, affidavits of non-baptism and affidavits of freedom to marry are required.

All Couples:

Parental permission is required if either party has not yet reached their 18th birthday. A civil marriage or re-marriage license (obtained from your city or township clerk or the clerk of Washington Township) must be received by the Priest/Deacon at the rehearsal.

Parish Guidelines and Policies

• Catholics are expected to be married within a Nuptial Mass, especially when both parties are Catholic. The Celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage Outside of Mass may be appropriate, especially when a Catholic is marrying someone from another faith tradition.
• The Sacrament of Marriage may be celebrated on any day of the week except Sunday. The celebration of the Lord’s Day is reserved for parish celebrations.
• The Sacrament of Marriage may not be celebrated at Holy Family on the following dates: All Sundays, January 1, Holy Thursday & Good Friday, Holy Saturday, Ascension Thursday, August 15, November 1 & 2, December 8, December 24 & 25.
• Weddings during Advent and Lent must take into account the liturgical prescriptions for these seasons. Please speak to the priest/deacon if your wedding will occur during these seasons. The time of celebration is strictly limited: On Saturdays, weddings may be celebrated at 11 AM or 2 PM. On weekdays, including Fridays, weddings may be celebrated at any time up to 5:30 PM if the parish calendar permits.
• A priest from another parish or diocese is welcome to preside at your wedding Mass or ceremony. He must write a letter to the pastor of Holy Family stating his intention to preside and provide a currently dated letter of suitability from his local bishop or superior. These letters must be sent to the Diocese of Camden and Holy Family. Once received, your wedding date and time will be confirmed.
• A wedding rehearsal is mandatory for all celebrations. This will be scheduled during your initial meeting.
• Rehearsals are subject to scheduled events on the parish calendar. In most cases, rehearsals are scheduled at or before 6:00 PM from September to June, but may be scheduled later during the summer months when no evening Masses are celebrated.
• The parish religious education center and hall are not available for receptions.
• Photography and videography are welcome during the ceremony. Please instruct those hired to speak with the priest/deacon before the ceremony. Photographers and videographers are not permitted in the sanctuary of the church. A spirit of reverence must be maintained during and after the ceremony due to the sacred nature of the church.
• While bridal parties may take pictures in the church following the ceremony, please be aware that other events may be scheduled, and the church is needed at 3:45 PM for the Sacrament of Penance.
• Wedding parties must arrive promptly for the rehearsal and the wedding. Masses and other parish activities are often scheduled.
• Bridal parties and guests are expected to dress appropriately and modestly. Women’s shoulders, including the bride’s, should be covered, and skirt lengths should fall below the knee. Men should wear jackets and ties, but may not wear sleeveless shirts or shorts. Footwear should also be appropriate—beach sandals and flip-flops are not permitted.
• Reverence for God’s House and the parish community is a priority. Food and drink are not permitted in the church for any reason.
• Bridal runners in church are not permitted, as they often become a hazard during the Communion procession. The scattering of flower petals or other substances is not permitted.
• Flowers or bows may be held in place with rubber bands; nothing should be affixed to the church pews with tape or other adhesives.
• Candlelight ceremonies are not permitted, as candles in the assembly pose a hazard and melting wax is difficult to remove.
• The Unity Candle is not part of the Roman Catholic Rite of Marriage. This ceremony may be more appropriate at your reception.
• The throwing of rice, confetti, birdseed, etc., is NOT PERMITTED due to the slip-and-fall hazard. Balloon launches are also not permitted due to their environmental impact.
• ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES ARE NOT PERMITTED IN THE CHURCH OR ON CHURCH GROUNDS, including in the limousine. No toasts are allowed before leaving the church property. If alcohol is served, the Washington Township Police Department will be contacted. Driving under the influence is a crime, and New Jersey has strict enforcement of the .08 legal limit.
• The use of alcoholic beverages is not permitted before the ceremony. If any member of the bridal party or guests is intoxicated, they will be asked to leave, and if necessary, the police will be involved.

The Issue of “Living Together”

The United States Bishops, in their document Faithful to Each Other Forever, state that premarital sexual intercourse and cohabitation are not identical issues. Cohabitation, especially for couples contemplating marriage, can make avoiding premarital sex difficult and creates an occasion of scandal for others. For these reasons, the priests of Holy Family Parish recommend that couples live apart and refrain from sexual intercourse during the preparation period. Couples who do so are often more focused on the sacred aspect of marriage.

The Banns of Marriage

Couples marrying at Holy Family will have their wedding announcement published for three consecutive weekends in the parish bulletin.

Church Fees and Stipends

• Parishioners: $700
• Non-Parishioners: $1000
• Marriage Preparation at Holy Family (if marrying at another Parish): $350
• Convalidation (Blessing of a Marriage): $200

Altar servers should receive a minimum stipend of $20. The couple is expected to give the officiant a stipend.

Music for Your Wedding

Music is an integral part of the wedding liturgy. You have the option to choose musicians and singers from the Music Ministry at Holy Family or from outside (with approval). Secular music is not appropriate for the ceremony but can be played at the reception.